Pangrams

Pangrams are sentences that contain each letter of the alphabet at least once. The most famous English Pangram is “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.” I just found a few that I had scribbled on a piece of paper. I’m pretty sure I posted them on my old blog at some point, but I thought they were fun enough to post again. The trick with pangrams is to try to make the sentences as short as possible. “The quick brown fox…” is 35 characters. My first two efforts are 41 characters each; the third is a mere 34 and, I think, the nicest of the batch:

• The quivering zebra waxed floors with Jacky’s mop.
• What Jack’s pony faxed calmed the quivering zebra.
• Zeb’s happy cow gave quarts of jinxed milk.

Joyful Doodle #8

The index card wasn’t quite sturdy enough for this much ink coverage, hence the wrinkles. This general effect is based on an embroidery project I started a long time ago that I hope, eventually, some day, to get back to.

Various inks on index card

Joy Doodle #7

Gel and metallic inks on index card

Stuff the Bible Doesn’t Say, Episode 4

“Then Pharaoh’s servants said to him, ‘How long shall this man be a snare to us? Let the men go, that they may serve the Lord their God. Do you not yet know that Egypt is destroyed?’

“So Moses and Aaron were brought again to Pharaoh, and he said to them, ‘Go, serve the Lord your God. Who are the ones that are going?’

“And Moses said, ‘We will go with our young and our old; with our sons and our daughters, with our flocks and our herds we will go, for we must hold a feast to the Lord.’

“Then he said to them, ‘The Lord had better be with you when I let you and your little ones go! Beware, for evil is ahead of you. Not so! Go now, you who are men, and serve the Lord, for that is what you desired.’ And Moses and Aaron said, ‘Cool, dude. That totally works for us, because the kids haven’t reached the age of accountability yet, so we don’t let them feast.’” (Exodus 10:7-11, NKJV*)

As I listened to almost the whole Pentateuch over the last few days while recovering from a nasty cold, I was struck by the fact that of all the many factors that might keep a person from participating fully in the life of the covenant community–certain categories of parentage or ethnicity, certain physical injury or illness, various bodily fluids, proximity to death, and gross abhominations that warranted not only liturgical exclusion but death–there is never the slightest mention of intellectual or mental capacity. Little children are not excluded. The elderly with dementia are not excluded. No one with developmental disabilities is excluded. Surely no one thinks that limited or diminished mental capacity was unknown to ancient people, so if it was never mentioned in regard to liturgical participation in a context where liturgical participation was highly regulated, it must be because it was a totally irrelevant factor.

So those who exclude anyone from full participation in the life of the church, including full welcome to the baptismal font and the Lord’s table, because of mental incapacity are inventing categories of exclusion that never crossed God’s mind even in Israel’s infancy when all sorts of “house rules” were in place that are no longer in force. The appalling arrogance!

I will concede that for most who follow the man-made traditions of intellectual pharisaism, it is largely a matter of ignorance rather than arrogance. And, fortunately, God is more gracious to the ignorant than the ignorant are to the ignorant. But really, the church needs to repent of these Talmudish accretions to biblical teaching.

*NKJV=New Krazy Joke Version

Joy Doodle #6

I think this may be my favorite yet.

The Earring Holder of Awesomeness

OK, so the title is a little over the top, but I am just over the moon about how this long-awaited project has turned out.

I found these frames at Target about a couple of years ago. (It’s hard to discern in the photo, but there are two identical collage frames nestled together.) I’d planned to use them for this project in my old house, but then my moving plans started cranking up, and the plan got delayed. Unfortunately, Target doesn’t carry the frame anymore. In fact, I can’t find a U.S. source, but it’s available in the U.K. (source 1, source 2, source 3) and Canada (source 1, source 2). But I hunted for it for you, dear reader, really I did! In the meantime, the same basic technique should work for any multi-image frame, or for a DIY collage of small frames. Embroidery frames are really ideal for earring hangers, and I’m sure there are some good tutorials out there.

Here’s what I did:

First, I used a drawing program to sort out how best to arrange the frames and what background colors I wanted:

Of course that could be done by hand, but having illustration software sure does help when you want to switch around colors quickly.

The colors are based on my plan to repaint my grandparents’ bed.

I used what I had on hand for the colors: The teal is fabric I appropriated from my mom’s stash ages ago. The orange and yellow are a couple pieces of scrapbook paper that I had on hand for another project. The white and lime are the paper that was in the frames. The lime actually has some writing on it, but I decided that it wouldn’t be nearly as vexing as having to delay the project longer.

All of the paper is cut to the exact size of the square. The fabric is cut about three-quarters of an inch larger on each side, and wrapped around the original paper insert to give it the right shape.

Over each bit of fabric or paper is a piece of white tulle, also from mom’s stash, and also cut a little larger than the square.

In the frames with paper, I put the glass back in to fill up the depth of the frame. In the frames with fabric, I left out the glass, because the fabric added too much thickness for it to fit. I’d like to take out all of the glass and insert squares of felt, instead. A little softness would make it easier to hook the earrings onto the tulle. But I’m going to wait a while to see if there’s anything else I want to change. For instance, I don’t know how well the paper backing will hold up, so I may want to replace it all with fabric eventually. The original board backing was replaced in each square with the tulle tucked neatly (if not always perfectly) inside, and the clips were reengaged to hold everything together.

To hang the frames accurately (so they fit snuggly enough together to look like one large conglomeration), I used the toothpaste picture-hanging trick. I had to hang them so the top squares are a little higher than I would have liked, but I needed clearance for the jewelry box underneath.

That may be more detail than was warranted, but I wanted to be thorough for the sake of anyone attempting to create something similar.

Down with Endnotes!

One thing that made me sigh happily over the last book I read was that the footnotes were footnotes–right there at the foot of the page where I could glance down and read them and then glance right back up at the text.

The next book I picked up, however, is endnote-heavy in the extreme. We’re talking up to 10 notes per page, often multiple per paragraph, which makes for slow going if you’re flipping back and forth for each one. If they were all mere references, it wouldn’t be a problem, but there’s lots of substantive stuff back there, too, that I don’t want to miss. The book is billed as an academic text (I’m guessing it might have been the author’s doctoral thesis published for a broader audience), but the writing is certainly accessible enough for a reasonably well-educated layman, so why not make it even more accessible by using footnotes rather than endnotes?

I understand that formatting oodles of footnotes can be a challenge, but with modern page layout software, it’s hardly an insurmountable one. And I understand that oodles of footnotes on a page can be less than aesthetically pleasing, but there are ways around that, too. If I had been in charge of the publication, first I’d have folded a lot of the substantive material back into the main body of the text. That would leave us with mostly reference notes. Turn those into short-form, inline notes (the reader can refer to a bibliography for more detailed info), and suddenly the note population has been subdued. Like a vanquished army, it can now be placed under the victor’s feet. The feet of his pages, to be precise.

It all comes down to what ought to be one of the key principles of publishing anything: What will best serve the author and the reader? What will least hinder the flow of communication between them? A massive endnote section (Because That’s the Way We Do Things in Academia) fails at this goal. If the standards are god, and the editor is priest, human sacrifices will be the rule of the day. But the style guide was made for man, not man for the style guide, and Talmudic accretions ought to give way to mercy and justice! Are you with me? Down with endnotes! To arms! To arms! March on Washington! Storm the Bastille! Drat the torpedoes! Full steam ahead!

(OK, so I get carried away sometimes up here on my soapbox, but I rather amuse myself!)