We’re All a Little Odd

Wrote this about 12 years ago, and it popped into my odd little head today.

Splotches

A Recycled Parable

Here’s a parable I wrote several years ago. I thought of it again this morning when I encountered a lunkheaded Levite harassing a repentant lamb:

A certain sheep went down from Jerusalem to Jericho. Well, she started out in that direction at any rate, but very foolishly wandered off the road and fell into a deep, miry pit.

Now by chance a certain priest came down that road.

“Please help me!” she bleated. “I’ve very foolishly wandered off the road and fallen into this pit!”

“Aw…don’t be so hard on yourself,” he replied. “Who’s to say that being in a pit is wrong? And wandering off isn’t necessarily bad, it’s just an alternative path. So don’t let anybody judge you!” And he passed by on the other side.

Likewise a Levite arrived at the place.

“Please help me!” she bleated. “I’ve very foolishly wandered off the road and fallen into this pit!”

“You know what your problem is?” he asked. “You’ve very foolishly wandered off the road and fallen into this pit. What you need to do is stick to the road, like I do. I’ll be praying for you to get your act together and cease your stupid straying!” And he passed by on the other side.

And a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where she was.

“Please help me!” she bleated. “I’ve very foolishly wandered off the road and fallen into this pit!”

And when he heard her, he had compassion. So he went to her and hauled her out, and cleaned the mud out of her wool, and carried her back to the road.

“I think I’d better go the rest of the way with you, Miss,” he advised. “I’d hate for you to meet with robbers along this road while traveling unprotected.”

“Robbers?” she replied with a laugh. “Oh, there are worse people than robbers to meet out here!”

Three Years in Moscow

I arrived in Moscow three years ago today. In addition to year one’s list and year two’s list, I am grateful for…

• My Prescription
  Last summer and fall, I spent three or four months in a haze of fatigue. Several weeks in, I went to the doctor, and after a couple of visits and a couple of rounds of blood work, we had a diagnosis of hypothyroidism and a prescription that gradually brought me back to life. I am grateful for modern medicine that allows me to be a functional human being.
• My Paracletes
  Amid the physical and emotional symptoms of my illness, a number of people came alongside me. One Saturday I was kidnapped, and my keys were stolen, and a gang broke into my house…and cleaned it. That’s a gift I won’t soon forget. Folks brought meals for a while till I was feeling more on top of things. There were flowers, and there were encouraging notes, and there were (and still are) many prayers. When I was back on my feet, but it was clear that things still weren’t right with my heart, two ladies in particular, Nancy and Eileen (my pastors’ wives), continued to be relentless with encouragement and counsel and lunch dates and checking in and the right kind of pushiness. I am grateful for this avalanche of love that has pounded down on me for the past eight or nine months
• My Perch
  Another specific megablessing has been my new office. Nancy saw the need to get me out of my isolation at home and installed me in a snug little spot in the church office building. Not only has it been great to get out of the house and interact with other human beings every day, it’s been a great perch from which to observe the life of the congregation. I especially appreciate seeing how our deacons serve our community. Once a week, a couple of them give up their lunch breaks to meet with folks who have practical needs. They don’t just throw money at situations; they get to know people and work on solving the problems underneath the problems. I am grateful to be be near the hub of our church life and to see others being blessed there, too.
• My Progress
  My pastor often reminds up to judge things by the video, not by the snapshot. In the case of my sanctification, the video is so slo-mo that it takes some concentration and a little imagination to see any action, but I think I can juuuust make out a little creeping progress. I am grateful that “He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it.”

And now the suspense begins: Will I be able to keep up this ever-more-strained P-alliteration in next year’s anniversary post? Tune in to find out!

Giving Temptation Backchat

Thinking about the Romans 6 reminder that I am no longer a slave to sin, and realizing that I act too often as if I am, I came up with the defiant “You ain’t the boss of me!” to use against it when it says, in one of its wheedling ways, that I must do this or that. I decided I needed to expand that a bit, and came up with this ditty. Maybe I’ll make up a tune to go with it, but for now, this’ll do.

Joy Doodles #22 and 23

The first one was my entertainment on a recent cross-country flight. I knew the motion of the plane would prevent precision, so I planned on the wobbliness of the vertical lines giving it a bit more texture.

Back on solid ground, I did the second one, which required a steadier hand. At one spot, I goofed and used the same color adjacent to itself. A little cutting-and-pasting plus a little Photoshopping hid it pretty well, I think.

Lizard Appliqué Crochet Pattern

I was on the hunt for boy-friendly hat ideas last week, so I searched for a lizard appliqué and found this pattern. I decided it could use some improving, so I reworked the it to something that satisfied me better. I wrote it up so I could remember it, and now here it is for you to try!

YARN/HOOK

I made this sample using Caron Simply Soft (aran weight) with a size E hook. As you can see, he’s about 6 inches long. I’m sure he’d adapt well to other yarn weights and hook sizes.

SPECIAL STITCHES
dc2tog (double crochet two together) — yo, insert hook into stitch, pull up a loop, yo, draw through 2 loops, yo, insert hook into next stitch, pull up a loop, yo, draw through 2 loops, yo, draw through 3 loops.

anchored dc — insert hook through 1 strand in post of prior stitch, pull up a loop. This loop serves as the normal yo in a dc, so proceed with a dc as usual [I don’t know if there’s an official name for this stitch, so I’m calling it an anchored dc. I’ll try to make it more clear in the pattern how to do it.]

LEG — I think it will be easier if I post the leg pattern separately, and then you can just insert it where needed. Don’t start with the leg, though. Just pop up here and follow these steps when you see LEG in the pattern.

• ch 6
• sl st in 4th ch from hook (1st toe)
• ch 3
• sl st in same st (2nd toe)
• ch 3
• sl st into same st and another strand opposite so you close up the gap. You’re just making one sl st, but it’ll go through two strands of yarn. (3rd toe)
• sc in last 2 ch of the ch 6

PATTERN

• chain 19 [BODY FOUNDATION CHAIN]
• sc in 2nd chain from hook
• hdc in next chain
• dc in next 2 chains
• LEG
• anchored dc in next ch of BODY FOUNDATION CHAIN. OK…here’s where we’re using that weird stitch. Basically, you want to attach it to the last dc you made so you won’t have a weird gap between the body and the leg.
• (2 dc in next ch, dc in next ch) 3x
• LEG
• anchored dc in next ch of BODY FOUNDATION CHAIN
• hdc in next ch
• sc in next 2 ch
• 2 dc in next ch
• hdc in next ch
• 4 sc in last ch

Woohoo! You’ve made half a lizard body and head! Now let’s make the other half working down the other side of the BODY FOUNDATION CHAIN.

• hdc in back side of next ch in the BODY FOUNDATION CHAIN
• 2 dc in next ch
• sc in next 2 ch
• hdc in next ch
• LEG
• anchored dc in back side of next ch of BODY FOUNDATION CHAIN
• (dc2tog in next 2 ch, dc in next ch) 2x
• LEG
• anchored dc in next ch of BODY FOUNDATION CHAIN
• dc in next ch
• hdc in next ch
• sc in next ch

OK, now we’ve got a whole lizard body. On to the tail!

• ch 26 [TAIL FOUNDATION CHAIN]
• sl st in 2nd ch from hook
• (sc in next ch, 2 sc in next ch) 2x
• hdc in next 3 ch
• dc in next 5 ch
• (dc2 tog in next 2 ch, dc in next ch) 3x
• dc2 tog in next ch
• sl st to 1st sc of body
• fasten off, leaving a long end for attaching appliqué

Congrats on your new lizard! Please let me know how the pattern worked for you. Was anything too confusing? Did you spot any errors? Did it come out juuuuust right? Your feedback would be appreciated!

TA-DA!

And here’s our little reptilian friend attached to a toddler-size* hat, ready to be bestowed on some small person at a future baby shower! The eyes are just a couple of stitches in a contrasting color yarn.

*For the sake of prolonged wearability and a better shot at having it fit the recipient for at least one winter!

(Lizard Appliqué on Ravelry)